4 D’s That Derail and Overwhelm

Have you ever experienced a bad day getting worse? Or perhaps a good day getting better? 

It’s the familiar pattern of getting back whatever we put into the universe. Call it the Law of Attraction or any similar phrase that works for you. Our vibrational frequency sets the stage for what comes to us next! And it’s our awareness of the situation as it is happening that allows us to consciously choose the direction of the outcome intentionally, or in other words, live intentionally.

Many things can wreak havoc on our lives, pull us off track, and require us to be open to seeing potential and possibilities in our darkest moments.

Most can be grouped into the 4 D’s

·       Death (the passing of someone we love)

·       Diagnosis/Disease (the loss of health for ourselves or someone we love)

·       Divorce/Dissociation (the ending of a relationship)

·       Dismissal/Departure (a change in career or employment)

Are any of these 4D’s affecting you or someone you love at the moment? Or have you been through an event that completely turned your life upside-down?

What happens to you when you are thrown off your path due to something intense enough to stop you in your tracks momentarily or longer? The answer will, of course, depend on what you are facing; however, what I am asking is if you have a usual response pattern. What is your ‘go-to’?

When we are living day by day, and suddenly, something or someone is ripped away from us, it can be downright devastating. I am stating the obvious, but I believe I need to bring it to your attention. Sometimes we get lost in what we are going through and either forget to remember our passions and purposes, or they are lost in the vent and need to be redefined. And when we lose our connection to living with purpose and experiencing our passions, we become disconnected from our hearts, and we can lose our way.

We may feel:

·       Depressed and hopeless

·       Lack of clarity about our “Why” and reason for living

·       Overwhelmed and emotionally fatigued

·       Anxious about the future

·       Stuck, trapped, and unsure about what to do next

 It’s OK and normal to feel any or all of these emotions. It’s part of the process and a natural progression toward healing and redirecting.

A line from the book ‘I Will Always Love You’ fits well here…

“Welcome your challenges as they appear. Accept them as lessons; there’s nothing to fear. They come with messages and purposes too. It’s all part of your learning; they’re gifts for you.”

We don’t have to like what has happened. We can and should feel all of the emotions that accompany the experience. And we are invited to explore what we want to happen next, given the reality of what we are facing. We are invited to open up to different perspectives. This takes time. This takes patience. This takes a choice to compassionately and intentionally begin our healing with a focus on what we want to experience, how we want to feel, and our sights on moving toward what we want.

Here are 3 things that can help you expand your perspective and begin to feel some relief when experiencing your darkest moments.

1.    Press Pause

Get clear about the emotions you are experiencing. There are likely a few obvious ones, but what is underlying them? Go a little deeper. What else is going on? Make a list of everything you are feeling. Be willing to tear up the paper when you are done to allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable.

For example, if you are angry, write down all of the reasons why. Who or what is on the receiving side? What else do you feel about that particular situation? What else are you feeling? And then go deeper with each emotion. Swear if you want. Let everything move from your heart and mind to the paper.

The purpose of this exercise is to allow you to see additional aspects of what you are carrying with you. It will enable you to see what might be true and what might be a story or a belief you took on and isn’t what you thought it was. If you would like to explore this further, and someone you love has passed, then I recommend my Hope, Love & Loss, Creating a Pathway to Healing course. It is a program that I offer to Hospices and other organizations that support the grieving process. Click this link for free access to this program.

2.    Explore Ways to Find Some Relief. What brings you peace?

Do you find talking through your situations helpful? Could you benefit from a supportive conversation? Make a list of people you trust who can help you feel better and help you see things in an improved way. Ask for help. People want to help. Let them.

Do you journal? It is one of the most surprisingly therapeutic practices you can establish. I avoided it for years because I didn’t understand its value or purpose. Here’s the thing… You don’t have to write sentences; you can swear, rant, and throw out random thoughts and ideas. You can also be eloquent if it resonates. You can write love letters, angry letters, songs, or poetry. You can also bare your sole and choose to burn your paper after writing. Regardless of your approach, the process of moving your energies, thoughts, feelings, and emotions helps you ‘get unstuck,’ allows you to open up to healing, and gives you access to higher guidance and infinite wisdom.

Does the notion of meditation and quiet time resonate with you? If so, schedule at least one break daily to quiet your mind and ‘go inside.’ Note that you can be in a seated yoga-type position to do this. However, this is not your only option. You can walk in nature, dance to drumming, or do anything else that helps calm your mind and allow you to hear your intuition and guidance. Guided meditations are also great options. Breathing exercises will also help clear your mind and energy.

 3.    Create Some Clarity

To move toward feeling better, you need to know what you want.

Make a list of anything and everything that can make you feel better. People, places, activities, memories, future plans… write and write and write. This is challenging in the best of times for many people. If this is the case for you, then try this. Begin by listing everything that is weighing you down and then write the opposite of each item. The intent is to redirect your focus.

If you want to take your clarity to the next level, I can share a gift with you. I offer a free course called I Have a Choice. It helps you get clear about what you’re focusing on, and it gives you a tool to create a healing and improved thinking pathway. Consider giving it a try. It’s helped thousands of people feel better. Link to I Have A Choice.

Before signing off, I want to note something important. If you find yourself lost, stuck, and feeling like you are just going through the motions of life and you don’t relate to any of the 4D’s above, I get you! For many years (more than 3/4 of my life), this was my situation. It was extremely painful and challenging because I just couldn’t figure out why!!! When I learned that I was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and an Empath, my world changed in the most beautiful way. I began to understand myself, my responses, and my struggles in a way that brought tremendous clarity, healing and positive transformation. If you are highly sensitive or know someone who is, then take a moment and read this blog.

Read more here in my piece about Empaths & HSPs https://melissa-lyons.com/blog/why-do-i-feel-so-deeply ♥