A Path of Healing During The Holidays ~ For The Tired, Emotionally Drained & Heartbroken
- You feel tired, emotionally drained and maybe even a bit heartbroken.
- Something has knocked you off your path. It could be anything from simply feeling lost, sad or lonely to death, divorce, dismissal, or a diagnosis of disease.
- You want to feel better, but you need some answers and some help to turn things around.
Can you relate to feeling emotionally drained? Feeling exhausted but unable to relax or sleep? You want to feel better but don’t feel up to the task of reading a long self-help book or beginning a complicated system of recovery. You may even be feeling forcefully isolated, and an increased feeling of loneliness with current conditions. You are not alone!
Within this message, I share my knowledge and perspective on loss, and heartbreak and overcoming the obstacles and challenges that can arise as we enter the holiday season and the end of challenging year.
You Are Not Alone
This is for you.
The holidays can be a time of great joy, but it is not uncommon for many of us to have some grief or sadness in our lives. We have all experienced some type of loss in our life that can leave us feeling drained emotionally, mentally and physically. Sometimes that grief and heartbreak can even make us dread the holidays, when celebration with friends and family is the main focus. You might even feel guilt for finding happiness during stressful times.
This year can be a stronger trigger for many, especially with the current pandemic and looming lockdowns. Families and friends can no longer gather, and these gatherings can be a place of peace and comfort for those going through loss.
SOMETHING OR SOMEONE HAS BEEN RIPPED AWAY FROM YOU.
Your life, and your plan have been going smoothly for you and then all of a sudden, a part of your life gets ripped away. This could be the death of a loved one, losing your job, a friendship or relationship ending, or even the simple fact of not being able to see friends and families this holiday season. Things have rapidly changed, and in the blink of an eye everything seems different, YOU feel different. At first you might remember finding it hard to breathe, maybe your heart felt tight or perhaps it felt like it was burning. The sensation is different for everyone, but at some point, or another, we all experience that gut-wrenching state of loss.
I know the feeling. I have been there – more than once – and it is not the greatest place to be.
Sometimes It Feels Like Life Sucks.
Sometimes life can really suck and throw obstacles and challenges at us and we find ourselves feeling completely de-railed and wondering: what next?
There are a lot of circumstances that can lead to this unenviable state. More often than not, an unexpected and unwelcome loss is at the core of feeling this way and it is heartbreaking.
Heartache after loss can be devastating and arises for different reasons.
A few of the big ones that can really knock you off your tracks include:
- Death – losing someone you love
- Diagnosis – losing your health
- Divorce – losing your partner
- Dismissal – losing your job
Many people can experience one or more of the above mentioned at one time. it can be overwhelming and frightening all at once. It can lead to one breaking down mentally and emotionally. Seeing yourself out of this state can be difficult and may take more energy than you believe to have. But it can all come down to making small and subtle shifts in your mind set, and you will slowly start to see yourself coming out on the other side.
From Breaking Down To Breaking Through
I Decided That Enough Was Enough
I resolved that instead of breaking down, I was going to breakthrough and I embarked on a journey to discover how to work with my life and all the seemingly insurmountable challenges I was experiencing.
If you are feeling tired, emotionally drained or somewhat broken, this is for you!
Emotions Can Be Heavy and They Can Be Damaging Too
- Carrying them without proper support depletes energy
- Holding them for a long time contributes to feeling hopeless
- Locking them inside can cause them to fester and create hidden damage
- Ignoring them can lead to sleepless nights and render you fatigued
- Allowing them to over-power your mind can lead to feeling emotionally drained
You Think You Are Tired But That Is Not The Whole Truth
- Sleep alone does not always cure your situation.
- The truth is that you could be lacking emotional energy and spiritual balance.
- Your emotions need to be translated in a way that protects your energy.
- You need to take back your power and consciously direct your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
How Do You Break the Cycle?
You need to connect to your higher sourced energy and update your emotional patterns and frequencies. This is what I have done and it’s a game changer, to say the least!
My research led me to discover what was holding me back from healing my pain and from processing and working with my challenges and obstacles in a favorable way.
You Are Ready To Feel Good Again
It’s an “I am ready to feel good again” process called Simple, Subtle Shifts. And it’s exactly that!
- Simple – nice and easy
- Subtle– it’s not obvious to anyone but you
- Shifts – your life trajectory and emotional well-being will align to your passions and your purpose
Here is how Simple, Subtle Shifts works.
- You create your own unique path of intentions that is aligned with your passions and your purpose.
- You learn how to recognize when you are pulled off of your path and how to come back to your centre and realign.
- You build up a practice of mindfulness, as it relates to your emotions, and in time, the process of realigning to your consciously chosen path will become more and more effortless.
Your Path of Intentions
Reflective Activity: Copy the diagram above on a blank piece of paper. Replace the words/instructions with your current experience. Put it physically on paper, read and assess as much as you need. Turn it into your daily mantra. Re-visit and edit daily as you need, in order to help you realign and focus on the positives in your life.
Why Feeling Bad Can Be Good For You
WHEN YOU FEEL YUCKY, YOU’RE REALLY QUITE LUCKY!!!
It sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it? When I am explaining this process in a more simplified manner to children, I explain it like this: ‘When you feel lucky, you’re really quite lucky!’. Your bad feeling is actually just a messenger telling you to realign. Listen to what your negative feelings and energy are telling you, and discover how to act on what you are learning about yourself. Only YOU have the answers. How awesome is that!
Your Intuition is Your GPS & It Sends You Off-Route Alerts
It’s your intuition telling you to pay attention to the message it is sending you. It wants you to recognize a state of disharmony in your emotional state. So, when you are pulled off your path, your emotions are your alert system, your own GPS, telling you that you need to realign.
And, realigning is more important than you might realize. You know that suppressing feelings and holding anger, guilt and resentment can be bad for your health. Numerous studies are now linking prolonged negative thoughts and experiences to ill health, yet many people live with a great proportion of their mind chatter focused on fear, grief, guilt, an overwhelming state and unworthiness.
What If Your Thoughts Had a Nutritional Value for Your Soul?
- What if positive, happy and peaceful thoughts were like vitamins for your health and nourishment for your soul? Would you be more inclined to choose them more carefully?
- Continuing down this path, what if negative, guilt-ridden and fear-based thoughts had destructive and damaging effects on your overall health and well-being? Would you be more conscious of their presence in your daily living?
- Many of us count calories, plan our diets around nutritional values and food attributes, and track our physical activity by our number of steps and exercise plans. This is very common at this time of year, and more often than not we find ourselves failing and being derailed to easy submission. But what about our emotional activity? How much attention do we place on monitoring the health of our thoughts and feelings? If we can get these on a positive track, everything else will fall inline accordingly, minimizing the experience of failure.
Here Is Something You Can Ponder
Based on the Scale of Consciousness work by Dr. David Hawkins, this recreated map including feelings and emotions provides an opportunity to become more aware of our dominant thinking patterns.
Take a moment and self identify where many of your thoughts, feelings and emotions commonly fall. Chances are you might be surprised.
Although you can find yourself at various levels throughout your life, there is a predominate area where your thoughts reside depending on your situational state.
How often do you find yourself with thought patterns that center around:
So, here is what happens: You get a feeling, or an emotion is triggered by an internal or external source, and then you think about it.
It’s that simple.
But what happens next is the basis for the trajectory of the thoughts that follow. Imagine falling down a hill. You start to tumble, and your speed continues to gain momentum until you stop. Only then are you able to pull yourself together, reverse your direction and make your way back to where you started. It’s an effort and a choice to stop and redirect.
Your thoughts and thinking habits are no different.
This Is What It Looks Like
This Is How You Apply It
Let’s start at the top of the triangle.
- You are in a certain mood or operating from a level of consciousness. You might be feeling happy or you might be feeling angry.
- Something happens to you or around you. Maybe someone does or says something to anger you.
- You respond in one of 2 ways. Consciously – your reaction based on a predetermined choice or automatically based on past experiences.
- Your response will elicit a consequence and you will either like it, dislike it or not be affected by it at all. This might be due to a low level of awareness or it might not have significance to you.
- Depending on the impact of the consequence you receive, you have the opportunity to redesign or realign based on your intentions and desired state of emotion.
- Using your “path” as a reference, you can shift your thinking and realign back to your centre.
The intention of this process is to raise awareness of your emotional reality (state of consciousness) in a given moment, your response patterns and your realignment choices. It gives you a visual image of what happens when something triggers you. It also provides you insight into where you are predominantly focusing your attention.
Having a path of intentions lined with qualities and experiences that align to your heart and your passions gives you a clear redirection point when you are faced with obstacles and circumstances that elicit undesired feelings and reactions.
Emotional Awareness As It Relates to Feeling Tired, Emotionally Drained and Heartbroken
Having emotional awareness will give you insight into the interconnectedness of your feelings, emotions and the experiences you create.
- You attract what you radiate. Call it the law of attraction, magnetic power of the universe or manifesting, there is a force that creates synchronicities and collaborates with our conscious and subconscious thinking.
- Having emotional awareness and being open to seeing your own emotional reality without judgement is paramount to your healing and to finding more purpose and meaning in your life.
- Taking deliberate action toward becoming clear about what is working and not working for you will give you the foundation to create a path of intentions that will align with your heart and soul.
- Choosing to consciously create a path abundant with what you want to experience and enjoy and clearly identifying the challenges, triggers and obstacles that take you out of your ideal zone will establish a heartwarming centre to keep you aligned and balanced. It will move you out of the energy zapping emotional zone and as the quality of your thoughts improve, so will your energy levels and your heartache will begin to lesson and perhaps transform too.
- Take note of the things that take you out of your zone. They are coming up for a reason and should be investigated when you are ready for the next step. Dealing with your own dominant level of consciousness and expanding beyond is something that can be explored through additional self learning, therapy sessions or with a coach. This will give you the tools needed to address, and release trapped energy and other limiting factors that you might be holding.
And let me be clear, you may still carry heartache with you, for a little while longer for a long time. It’s up to you.
Whether you are dealing with death, diagnosis, divorce, dismissal or any other situation that contributes to your heavy load, know that within the darkness, you have hope waiting for you.
Dealing with loss can be devastating and is an induvial process and no one should ever feel rushed. However, you can decide to carry it differently moving forward. You can make simple shifts that can create opportunities for you to have increased energy, more uplifting emotions, and an overall warmer feeling in your heart. You cannot let it ruin the present, and the gifts that are right in front of you.
You can :
- Use the Simple Subtle Shifts process to (re)discover what you want and don’t want in your life and consciously create an aligned path of intentions
- Take an honest look at where the balance of your emotional energies are residing on the Nutritional Value of Emotions for Your Soul diagram
- Choose to use the Reality-Response-Realign process to consciously shift yourself into a higher state
- Commit to a ritual that tunes into your intuition, nourishes your soul and fuels your personal growth and development
- Your emotional awareness and response to your higher guidance system can lead you to align to your true path
- It can move you away from emotional fatigue and can allow you to connect to your energetic source that invites and awaits you
- On your path, you can find your heart centre, peace, freedom, happiness and unlimited possibilities
Make an effort this holiday season to find the silver-lining through the negative energy and dark times. Loss and sadness can often seem like a cloud hanging over our head, following us everywhere we go. Challenge yourself to reach out at try the following activities to shed light on the gifts and peace you have in yourself.
- Set up a Zoom or Facetime call with friends or family during the holiday season to see some familiar faces. It all looks different this year, but you do not have to be alone!
- Make a list of all the people and things that you are eternally grateful for. That list may be longer than you think!
- Send out holiday/ New Years cards to friends and family, and list one thing you admire about them, or thank them for something they bring into your life.
- Write a letter to yourself, listing all of your positive attributes. Put it in your own stocking or under your tree and read it alone before the year is over. You might surprise yourself.
- Take a walk around your neighbourhood and admire the Christmas lights and decor, and feel like a kid again, enjoying the magic of the holidays.
- Make a steaming thermos of cocoa and bring it to the doorstep of a family member or friend, and have a socially distanced visit. Appreciate the small moments as much as possible.
These, and many other activities, can allow you moments and bursts of peace, and allow only positive light into your life. Reflect on these moments and allow them to give you a safe place to think about when you feel yourself becoming emotionally drained, and the heartbreak feels powerful.
If you have any other ideas and activities that help you battle your blues during the holidays, please share them with me on my Facebook page!